5 Keys to Forgiveness

When someone hurts you, you can let it consume you or embrace forgiveness. Learn how to make peace with your past.

When someone hurts you, you have two choices—let it consume you or embrace forgiveness.

Unfortunately, we all go through painful experiences throughout our lives, and the people we care about are sometimes the ones that bring us the most pain. The best way to move on from these negative experiences is to forgive yourself and those who have done you wrong. While this is not always easy, it is definitely the healthiest choice. In fact, holding on to grudges can be bad for your health, as negative emotions can rob your energy and cause anxiety and depression.

But how can you forgive someone who has hurt you deeply? Let’s take a look at some tips on how to let go of anger and frustration.

Write Down Your Feelings

When you are hurt, understanding your feelings can be tricky. You might experience different thoughts and emotions at the same time, and it can become extremely overwhelming. When this happens, it can be very beneficial to write things down. Journaling can help you express and clarify your emotions.

Through writing, it is much easier to analyze your emotions, understand why you are feeling a certain way, and find ways to heal faster. Once you write things down, you can look at things from a fresh perspective. You might even realize that things are not as bad as they seem. Having a fresh perspective could make the forgiving process easier, as you will no longer be controlled by anger.

Be Honest

When someone hurts you, be honest with yourself and with them. Many times, denying our feelings is our main source of frustration. It’s okay to feel hurt, and it is normal to talk about it. Plus, acknowledging the fact that you feel a certain way and explaining how you feel to the other person can help you avoid a similar situation in the future. 

Forgiveness is not about pretending that something didn’t happen. Denying the truth will only damage your relationship with others in the long term. Instead, forgiveness means acknowledging the painful events and finding a way to move on. 

Also, don’t try to make excuses for other people’s behavior. This will only determine them to repeat the same mistakes in the future. Be honest about the fact that you were hurt and set clear boundaries so that it doesn’t happen again.

Look on the Bright Side

While it’s not easy to see it sometimes, there’s a bright side to everything. There’s a good part even to the worst events of your life. They might teach you valuable lessons, force you to let go of a toxic relationship, or help you develop certain skills.

When you are trying to forgive someone, try to discover how the situation helped you. For example, let’s assume your partner cheated on you. While this is a painful situation, it also has some benefits. It makes you realize that there are problems in your relationship, and it forces you to reevaluate whether you want to continue the relationship or not.

However, keep in mind that forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you should also get back together with that person. Whether you continue your relationship with that person or not is up to you. Forgiveness is about making peace with the past and moving on without resentment.

Be Compassionate

When you’re trying to forgive someone, it’s important to be compassionate. Most of the time, the people who hurt you don’t do it intentionally. People make mistakes from time to time, so try to have a little compassion for those who have done you wrong.

Try to put yourself in their shoes and try to determine what made them act a certain way. They might not have been aware that what they did was wrong, they might have been going through something, or they just made a choice that made them happy. Seeing things from their perspective can help you forgive them more easily. You might even realize that you would have acted the same way if the roles were reversed.

Give Yourself Time

Forgiveness takes time. Depending on how badly someone hurt you, it might take weeks or even months to get over what they did to you. Don’t try to rush the process. Take all the time you need to process what happened and move on. 

If you rush things, you might end up with unresolved problems that will later affect your relationship with the person who hurt you. Therefore, it’s better to solve all your issues and talk about what happened before moving on.

Final Thoughts

Forgiveness can help you regain inner peace. When someone does you wrong, forgive them even if they are not sorry. Remember that you are doing this for yourself, not for them. You need to make peace with what happened in order to move on. That doesn’t mean that you should keep being close to someone who hurt you. You can forgive them and still end the relationship if that feels like the best choice.

I hope the tips above have inspired you to make peace with your past. For more inspiration and weekly tips, download the Beautiful You app and become part of a wonderful community.

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