If you’re anything like me, then the idea of talking to yourself can seem a little strange. But there’s something really powerful about the way we talk to ourselves—the words we use and the tone we use as well. It’s often those very words that determine how we feel about ourselves and what kind of day we have ahead of us. If you want to be happier, healthier and more positive in general, try practicing these simple steps to establish a healthy relationship with yourself:
Start every morning with a positive affirmation.
Positive affirmations are a great way to start your day on the right foot. If you’re feeling down, or if you’re just not sure what you want in life, positive affirmations can help set goals and achieve them. The best part is that they don’t have to be anything complicated–they can be as simple as “I am beautiful,” or “today is going to be awesome!”
The first step to developing a healthy relationship with yourself is to practice gratitude. Gratitude is a powerful tool for happiness and well-being, as it helps you appreciate what you have in the moment. Whether it’s your family or friends, the food on your plate, or even just the fact that you can breathe without pain–there are always reasons to be thankful!
When practicing gratitude:
- Notice what is working in your life now (e.g., “I love my job”) instead of focusing on what isn’t working (e.g., “I hate my boss”).
- Notice all of your achievements over time (e.g., “I finished college”) rather than focusing on failures (“I didn’t get straight As”).
- Think about all of the opportunities available today compared with even 20 years ago when most people weren’t able to connect online 24/7 like we do now
Make yourself a priority.
The first step in developing a healthy relationship with yourself is making yourself a priority. Your health and well-being are important and deserve as much attention as any other aspect of your life, but they’re often neglected in favour of more pressing priorities (like work or family).
To help you take care of yourself, try these self-care activities:
- Start with something small. The best way to get started on any new habit is by taking baby steps towards it–and that’s especially true when it comes to self-care! If you have trouble making time for yourself at first, start small by committing just five minutes each day until eventually building up to longer periods like thirty minutes or an hour. You’ll be surprised at how much difference those few extra minutes make!
Do something that makes you happy every day.
- Do something that makes you happy every day.
- This can be something that is not necessarily related to the rest of your day, but it should be something that makes you feel good and boosts your mood. It can be as simple as taking a walk around the block or calling an old friend, but make sure it’s something that is easy for you to do every single day, even if it feels overwhelming at first!
- Make sure this activity is something that brings joy into your life and makes sense in terms of what makes sense for YOU right now–not what someone else thinks would be good for them or their goals (even if those goals are similar). This is a healthy relationship with yourself, guard it!
Be mindful of your thoughts and actions.
The next time you feel the urge to snap at someone or make a rash decision, take a moment to pause and think about what it is that’s making you feel angry or frustrated. Is there something deeper going on? For example, if someone cuts in front of you in line at Starbucks and they don’t apologize for their mistake, are they really worth getting upset over? Or could this be an opportunity for self-reflection–maybe your own impatience has been coming out lately!
The best way to figure out how we’re feeling is by paying attention to our thoughts and actions. We can do this through mindfulness meditation practices like yoga or guided meditations on Headspace which offers free 10 minute sessions each day with Andy Puddicombe (the founder). By learning how our body feels when we’re stressed out versus relaxed–for example: tense muscles vs loose ones–we can become more aware of when something needs changing in our lives. These tips not only improve the health of our relationship with ourselves but they also prevent destructive relationships with others.
Give yourself some “me time” to recharge and regroup.
Deepening a healthy relationship with yourself, it is important to make time for yourself each day. This can be as simple as setting aside an hour to read a book, go for a walk in the park, or watch your favourite movie. In fact, it is essential that you do this so that you can recharge and regroup when things get stressful. You will find that when you take some time out for yourself regularly it will help keep stress levels down by keeping them from building up over time!
Treat yourself like you would treat someone you love and respect.
In your relationships with others, you would never treat them the way you sometimes treat yourself. If a friend needed help and support, would you tell them “no”? Or would you do all that was possible within your power to help?
If someone told you about their problems or concerns and asked for advice, would you ignore them or dismiss their situation as unimportant? Or would it be important enough for you to listen carefully and provide guidance based on what was said–even if it meant going out of your way just so they could feel listened-to (and maybe even understood)?
If someone came up to tell us how beautiful they looked in our outfit today–would we say “thanks” or roll our eyes at the compliment? Or would we take pride in knowing that our efforts were appreciated by someone else who sees things differently than ourselves?
Your self-worth is something that comes from within, not from external sources
You are not your job, your appearance, or any other external factors. You are a human being with intrinsic value and worth. You deserve love and respect. You are enough.
This is the first step in developing healthy relationships with yourself: recognizing that you are worthy of love no matter what anyone else says or does to make you feel otherwise. It’s important to remember this fact because it will help guide you through difficult times when others try to tear down your self-esteem or make you feel bad about yourself for whatever reason (which happens all too often).
We all have a relationship with ourselves, whether we acknowledge it or not. The key is to be conscious of this relationship and take steps toward strengthening it. It can be easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, but if you take some time out each day to practice these seven simple practices, then I guarantee that your self-worth will improve.
You can learn more about the importance of Self Love Here
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