It’s one thing to have knowledge on how to get and stay happy,
but quite another to learn the skills.
Just like anything else in life worth having, happiness skills are
important to incorporate into your daily life.
Here are a few:
- A good mental attitude – Everyone has up days and down days. It’s only natural and a part of life. Here’s the key: If you stay stuck in how bad your day is, your day is only going to get worse. Go through the motions of the day, and deal with just the facts. Your car got swiped in the supermarket parking lot? Yes, that is frustrating and annoying. Deal with it and don’t invest too much emotion into it. Put your energy into calling the insurance company, filing a report and you’ll be on your way to having a better day in no time flat.
- A good support group – When life gets in the way of happiness, and things do happen, a good support group, otherwise known as a tribe, is essential to keeping your happiness in check. Your clan will tell you the truth, be sympathetic, and listen to you over and over and over again. They can also spot things you keep in your blind spot. When you manage other people’s lives and do too much, your friends will tell you that you’re acting like an enabler – and they might just be right. This is something you might not otherwise see.
- Resourcefulness – when plan A doesn’t pan out always have a Plan B, and Plan C, for that matter. When life tumbles you down,it’s important to get back up and keep moving forward. In order to be happy, you have to not allow things to hold you back. You can choose to sit and wallow or you can give yourself enough time to go through the emotions and then keep moving. When you are faced with a closed door, start looking for that open window.
- Tap into your talents and gifts – We all have them – our own set of talents and gifts. For some it’s the ability to crunch numbers and for others it’s leadership skills. Tap into your talents and gifts and go where they lead you instead of the other way around. Highlight your greatest talents and gifts and lead with those and you will be so happy to find where they take you.
- Don’t put all your eggs in one basket – either professionally or personally in relationships – When you put too much happiness in one arena of your life you are not cultivating happiness. Imagine having a garden and putting all the different flowers, vegetables, and fruits in one hole. The next thing you know a gopher or a rabbit comes by and eats up all the seeds. You are left with nothing but a hole. It’s the same way in relationships and business ventures. Don’t put everything in one place. Spread your happiness circle around.
- A good grasp on the past – don’t let the past rule your future – When you find yourself getting upset, stop and ask yourself an important happiness measuring question. Why am I really upset or angry? What has triggered me? More often than not, you were thinking about something or someone who upset you or were triggered by past evaluations stuck in your head. Take the time and do the work to heal your past so you can have a happy present.
- How to roll with the punches – Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you need to be able to play the game effectively. Staying still for too long is ineffective and is counter-productive to happiness. Any time you are stuck in a certain place, you slow down your own growth.
- Train your brain to look at the small stuff – When you are doing a chore or having a conversation, look for the nuances of what’s great about that particular event. While no one relishes the thought of doing laundry, isn’t it wonderful to be able to walk over to your washer and dryer and have clean and dry clothes in no time at all? Start to train your brain to think and view little things differently.
Stories, reasons and excuses that keep happiness at bay
We all have our own stories from our past that seep into our present. We all also make up excuses at some time or another. “I don’t feel like it, I’m tired, it’s too late, I’ll never, I can’t, it’s too hard.”
Sometimes just naming your excuse or story gives it room to move into full view and to walk right through it to the other side.
- If you’re lonely, join a group, book club, exercise class or volunteer. Don’t sit around waiting for your doorbell to ring. That never works.
- Take responsibility for your life. Stop saying “Someday” or “I don’t have time.” These are just excuses keeping you in your comfort zone. Take one small actionable step today toward a goal. Want to write a book? Write a paragraph. Want to learn a skill? Buy a book or take a webinar on it. No excuses.
- If you have a story from your past like “woe is me” or “everybody else has it easier/better”, it’s time to examine that and recreate it. If you walk around feeling and believing that everyone has it better than you, then that is what will show up in your life. Recreate it that everyone has blessings and struggles and we are all one and the same.
- Waiting for… retirement/the big move/when the kids graduate. While you’re waiting around, time is saying see you later. Time waits for no one. Get busy, get active and get moving. You have some happiness to cultivate.
Do you want some extra support?
I would be more than happy to come along side you and help you put these action steps into motion!
You can start with my free resources – or keep informed about my 6 month coaching program, where I will show you how to find and cultivate your Authentic Beauty!