Find Peace & Calm: Let Go of What You Cannot Control

There is a universal truth that exists that there are certain things that lie just outside the reach of our realm of control. No matter how hard our human nature pushes us to reach these aspects of our lives, we simply will never be able to control each and everything about our days.

This constant frustration that is left when we cannot control a certain situation can be quite draining on our brains and our emotional health and causes a lot of undue stress. Learning to let go of the things that you will never be able to control is necessary in order to achieve a sense of calm in your life.

There are some strategies that you can employ to assist you in adopting this ‘let it go’ type of attitude. This article will outline a philosophy to help you overcome the need to control every aspect of the world around you.

What is in your control?

The first step in letting go of the things that you cannot control is understanding what those aspects are.

In any given situation, quickly evaluate what it is that you do have control over.

Understand and accept those values right off the bat to alleviate the stress of being a bit out of control in other aspects.

Who you will be when “life happens” Your actions How you interpret situations Your perception of life Your future How you manage stress How you react to people, places and things The people you choose to let into your life How you treat your children Your decisions Your success in life How much time you spend worrying How you deal with failure How you deal with your feelings Being kind, compassionate and helpful Honing the ability to let go How much you think about your past How much you love yourself Your creativity Your intimacy skills

Your mindset Your behaviors How you react The life you choose to live The activities you choose to engage in Your development and personal growth Your life choices What risks you take Your choices in anything Your attitude How much effort you put into getting what you want Changing yourself Your honesty level (both with yourself and others) How well you prepare for bad weather, traffic, etc. How you treat yourself Acceptance Your negativity or positivity When and if you ask for help Your communication skills

One good example is when your teenage child is beginning to drive and this situation can feel a bit out of your control.

In this situation, what can you control?

• When your child has access to a vehicle.
• Where your child is allowed to drive.
• Who is allowed in the vehicle with your child?

Among many other aspects, these are a few things in this situation that you do maintain control over.

You do not have control over the other drivers on the road.

Accepting that information upfront is a good tip for overcoming the stress that goes along with losing this control.

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Focus on Yourself

 Sometimes you are in situations where more than one person holds control over the aspects of your environment.

Your workplace, for example, is an area where there may be some shared ability to control certain aspects of your day.

Understanding where your influence is welcome and where it is not is a great step toward overcoming the stress of the need to control.

Set boundaries for yourself and only allow yourself to think about the areas which you are able to influence or control.

Understand Your Fears

For the most part, our need to control things stem from negative experiences we have had in the past.

This means that fear is the driving force behind this behaviour.

If you can understand the fear that you are working with, then it will be easier to accept that you cannot control every single aspect of your life.

Facing these fears is important for overcoming the need to control things.

Manage Your Stress through Healthy Means

People who are able to let go of the innate need for control tend to have healthy outlets for overcoming stress and anxiety.

Participating in yoga, meditating, and self-care are all positive methods for naturally reducing stress and anxiety in your life.

By reducing stress and anxiety you are more likely to be accepting of the situations you find yourself in on a daily basis.

Be Positive

Adopting a positive mindset is the last important step in overcoming the need to control certain aspects of your life.

By being positive, you are more likely to accept the things that cannot be altered within your life experience.

A positive mindset can make a big difference in the overall experience of your life.