Indira Gandhi once said, “Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.”
You do have to be courageous to let go of hurt, anger and resentment, because in some ways, hanging on to it means you’ll never forget the wrong so it will never happen to you again.
It’s a mode of protection you think will keep you safe.
Actually, not letting go of pain will keep you in pain.
You may never be able to enjoy a healthy relationship with another if you’re constantly holding a grudge and letting those feelings mask who you really are.
You’re protecting yourself from love and companionship rather than future hurt.
Looking over the trashed out relationship, you may feel that you never want to let yourself be vulnerable again.
You may shut down – your heart, mind and soul – so the hurt never happens again. This may seem to be the best route, but in reality, you’re actually hanging on to the pain by keeping it in your mind and spirit.
Forgiveness helps us let go of the pain – not the memory.
Implementing forgiveness in your life means that you no longer hang on to thoughts that don’t serve you well – and you’re making room for happiness and peace in your life.
Here are some ways to begin implementing the forgiveness process in your life:
- Re-define forgiveness. Remember, you’re not condoning or excusing the action or the perpetrator. You’re using the power of forgiveness so that you can benefit the most. You’re not giving in, but choosing to concentrate on your own life rather than the situation or person who hurt you.
- Use forgiveness to free your energy for better things. When you’re consumed by resentment, anger and constantly opening and revisiting old wounds, you can never heal and move on. Do yourself a favour and forgive.
- Make a concentrated effort to move on. Get back into the beauty and excitement of what life has to offer. Go places and do things that make you happy and content rather than focusing on how you were once hurt.
- It’s your choice. What do you choose – peace and happiness or the righteous anger that comes from hanging on to the past? If your choice is peace and happiness, you’ll practice forcing hurtful thoughts from your mind and replacing them with positive, happy thoughts for the future.
- View your future as a blank slate. You can write on it what you wish – either happy times or a dim and destructive view of life. Which will serve you best for what you want to do with your life?
Some people use past hurts as excuses to forget life goals and wallow in self-pity.
You’re actually letting yourself off the hook to achieve anything meaningful in life.
No matter what you’ve experienced in your life, know that others have experienced similar (or even worse).
Take responsibility for yourself and stop telling yourself you can no longer accomplish and succeed because you’ve been hurt.
Forgiveness can produce healing that will help you let go of the past and get on with your life – in spite of the past.
I’m here for you! I’ve experienced deep hurt and offence in my life.
I have also experienced the Power of Forgiveness – which I want for you too!
Now it is your turn, to do the work and walk out Forgiveness, whatever that looks like for you!