What is This Thing Called Happiness Anyway?

The word happiness gets thrown around quite a bit these days.

You probably don’t even give it much consideration.

We all “want” to be happy and we all chase this elusive thing called happiness.

Where do you look for happiness? Is it in relationships or in material purchases? If you are like most people, happiness will come when you retire, when you buy that new house, or get that promotion. The list goes on and on. It’s human nature.

However, is happiness based on something else “out there”, or is it based on how you act and behave throughout your day, your world, and your life? More importantly, does happiness come from what shows up in your world or does it show up in the world you create for yourself?

Most people wait for happiness to come to them rather than nurturing and growing it themselves. Happiness is something that needs your attention and devotion. If you want it, then you have to cultivate it.

Happiness isn’t an “Always” Feeling – it is Manageable, Though.

The Peaks and the Valleys

As we all know, just like you have peaks, you have valleys in your life. Just like you have good days, there are bad days. You can go from feeling happy to feeling mad in an instant when something sets you off. However, you can manage, to a certain extent, how happy or not you are.

Once you understand that happiness is manageable, you get tools and techniques to navigate your way toward life. Moreover, you get to navigate your way toward a happier life. It’s okay for things to happen and okay to be upset. However, it’s not in alignment with true happiness to stay angry, bitter, upset or resentful.

Mental Attitude is within Your Control

If you really want to cultivate happiness, it’s all within your control. You, and only you, can cultivate your mindset. While it may seem difficult at first, it can and does get easier. Controlling your emotions takes lots of practice. It’s not a magic wand or quick fix technique. It takes continual practice. The good news, however, is that it can be done, over and over again.

Change Your Thoughts

Some people think it’s bad to change your mind, however, changing your thoughts is an excellent proposition indeed. We all have issues from our past and from our childhood that may still run our subconscious minds today. No one gets away from the past unscathed.

However, you can change your mind by changing your thoughts and creating new perceptions.

Here are a few examples of how to do that:

What are the facts/what actually happened?
When you come from a factual point of view, it takes a lot of the story and drama out of the circumstances.

What kind of story am I creating around it?
Is the person a bully with you as a victim? Are you a martyr and nobody comes to help? Take a deep look at the story behind what actually happened.

Ask yourself if what the person actually did had anything much to do with you.
For example, your boss did not acknowledge you for your hard work because he thinks you are lazy or because he is ungrateful. Or did your boss not acknowledge you because he did so out of human error? Maybe he/she had something on their mind or it was simply an oversight.

Take a look at it from another angle.
Your boss doesn’t really compliment anyone at all and it’s just his way and has nothing to do with you. Your boss is more of a cold and factual person rather than a warm and fuzzy leader. He/she sticks to the facts and expects you to do a great job without much acknowledgment because, after all, that’s what you get paid to do. This may not be in alignment with how you would be a boss or a leader, but recognizing that it is his/her style may take the onus off of you.

Outside circumstances don’t have to rule you.
Yes, they are annoying and a nuisance value, but don’t let it seep into every other area of your life. If you had a bad day at work, don’t let it seep into your night at home.

You can decide how long to stay angry or when to forgive.
It’s up to you to change your thoughts to compassion and empathy and even detachment or stay and swim in bitterness.

You can make better choices, learn and move on.
Everyone has experiences that they would rather not talk about, but the key is to learn whom to trust, most especially yourself, and to keep moving forward.

You can incorporate happier things into your life.
You can choose to think about cleaning out the garage as a chore or some fun time with family rewarding everyone with a dinner out.

I’d love to hear from you, tell me which tip above you resonate with the most and why?

What would you like to see as an outcome when it comes to managing your Happiness?