We’re hard on ourselves. Many of us are more understanding and forgiving of others than we are of ourselves. It doesn’t make a lot of sense. If anyone is going to be on your side, it should be you!
There are several common signs that you’re being too hard on yourself:
1. You dwell on your mistakes. This accomplishes nothing positive. It does accomplish several things that are negative. Avoid doing this.
- We’re all human and make mistakes. Dwelling on mistakes makes you feel less capable and miserable in general.
- Keeps us locked in a “failure” mentality and that is paralyzing.
2. You compare yourself to others. There’s always someone richer, better looking, more musically talented, “luckier,” or has children that do better in school.
- Comparing yourself to others is dangerous. You don’t know the other person’s background or available resources. They may have a huge advantage.
- You’re also more likely to compare yourself to exceptional people. Do you compare your looks to the middle-age man or woman at work that has three kids? Of course not! You compare yourself to the 21-year old intern that models on the side.
3. You don’t give your own ideas a fair chance. How many great ideas have you had, but ultimately dismissed?
- You were born with a plan in mind, your deep desires are gifts from the one who created you. Don’t ignore those – they are there nudging you for a reason.
4. You spend too much time thinking about your past failures. Oh, the past. Maybe you have made some horrible decisions, but ask yourself this – who hasn’t?
- If you focus on negative experiences, you’re failing to accept yourself and your current reality.
5. You can’t take a compliment well. There are good things about you. It’s okay when others acknowledge those things. Your inability to accept a compliment from others is a sign that you don’t accept yourself.
6. You’re unrealistic. Being unrealistic might be seen as being kind to yourself, but it’s not. If you truly don’t have what it takes to become an NBA star, or a Rhodes Scholar, or a CEO, you’re not doing yourself any favors by holding onto unrealistic expectations. You’re ultimately being hard on yourself.
- Allow yourself the room to accept that you don’t have to be good at everything. You were born with gifts and talents designed just for you – embrace those.
It’s not easy to accept yourself. We’ve been taught that the ideal person is financially successful, athletic, attractive, cool under pressure, hilarious, creative, and the life of the party. Most of us will never check all of those boxes. But that doesn’t mean that you don’t have all the right tools be successful with what you do have. The key for you to remember is that God doesn’t make junk and He made you – with a plan and a purpose in mind. Don’t underestimate the power of God in your life!
“Acceptance of one’s life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices.” – Paul Tournier
There are many signs that you’re not as accepting of yourself as you could be. Be on the lookout for these signs. You probably don’t accept yourself as much as you think!
I have put together a digital worksheet for you to work through to help you see where you are at with self-destructive behavior. To do some self reflection click the button below.
P.S. If you find that you need some help to get past your self destructive behaviors then Click Here to book a mini coaching session with me. Where we can unpack these thought processes and give you the tools to transform them. Doing this alone hasn’t work for you yet – why would it start now? Book that Free Mini Coaching Session now to start your transformation.